My hand turned me down
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
