I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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