There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
