waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize