i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
