I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
