i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
