i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
