take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
