who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
