She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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