I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
