she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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