yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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