the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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