Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
