It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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