i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
