every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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