did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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