How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
