lets start a swedish sibling band together
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize