let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
