So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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