Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
