i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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