no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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