Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
