can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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