i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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