My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
