Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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