I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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