For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
