I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
