You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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