He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
