Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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