He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
