They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
