the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
