all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
