And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
