He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize