So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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