Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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