i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
