Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
