It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
