so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
