Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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