How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
