he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
