Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
