this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she told me i tasted like america
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
