I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
