can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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