You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
