This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
