Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
