i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
